Most of us are aware of how to look after our bodies, but we often do not consider looking after our brains. If we are constantly stressed, we are damaging both our brains and our bodies. How we think is so important to good health – both mental and physical health. Rather than let life just happen, you can be in the driving seat rather than be a passenger of life and be on autopilot.
I always ask my clients, “If I had a magic wand, what would you want to achieve from coming to see me?”.
Most people start by telling me what they don’t want and sometimes find it difficult to articulate what they do want. The first step is to tell your brain what you want because our thoughts are so powerful. They form our beliefs, and our beliefs determine our habits and behaviours.
If we want to change something in our life, be less stressed, lose weight, stop smoking, exercise more, find a loving partner, sleep more, be happy, and achieve our dreams, here are three thoughts and beliefs that are crucial to change.
I am not …………………. Enough
I am not good enough, smart enough, clever enough, attractive enough, interesting enough, rich enough, motivated enough …….. The list is endless
It’s not available to someone like me
I want love but can’t find it
I want to be healthy but our family only have to see a cake to put on weight
I want to be happy but I’ve got the depressed gene – it runs in my family
I don’t fit in
I’m different from everyone else.
No one likes people like me.
No one understands my point of view
Our brains like what is familiar. If we are thinking in a negative way, then this will be the default position and it will always bring us back to negative thinking. Therefore, we need to train our brain to think in a more constructive way
A helpful self-help method
Journaling is a great way of uncovering what is causing you to hold on to unhelpful or destructive thoughts and habits. Write down what is causing you pain or discomfort. Close your eyes, take a few breaths, and look inside and find out. What does it look like? What does it sound like? How does it make you feel? Can you visualize this part – a critical pushy part, embarrassed or shy part, an angry part, the sad part, confused part, etc. Can you give it a name?
Now ask the part what role it is playing in your life. Is it there to protect or punish you? What would it take to ask this part to leave? Could you use a waterfall to flush it out or use your imagination to remove it or simply ask it to leave?
Can you now remember a time when you have felt good about yourself? Bring a picture or story into your mind and describe it as vividly as you can. Where are you? Are you alone or with someone? What can you see, hear and feel? Make it into a symbol or metaphor and carry this with you so whenever you want to feel good about yourself, you can bring this memory into your thinking.
When you are ready, open your eyes and write down what you have learnt. You will gain valuable insights.